


Stay with me

by Bohemian (Linguam)



Series: Post 3x10: Erchomai [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Scared Magnus Bane, Worried Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 13:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14716979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linguam/pseuds/Bohemian
Summary: Magnus had given up a literal piece of himself so that Alec wouldn’t have to, and now he might lose him anyway.He can almost hear his father laughing all the way from Edom.





	Stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a broken mess.

“You… you gave up… your magic?”

“Shh, don’t speak,” Magnus admonishes softly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket and recapturing Alec’s hand. “Catarina is on her way. She’ll get you all healed up in no time, don’t you worry.”

“Magnus, I’m so sorry…”

Magnus shakes his head.

“It was my decision,” he says, and while that is true, it doesn’t diminish the hollowness he feels inside him, as if a fundamental part of his being has been carved out, burned into oblivion.

That feeling, however, fades when compared to the mind-numbing fear and utter helplessness he’s experiencing now, with Alec’s pained gasps growing all the fainter, his skin starting to take on a grayish hue.

“We’ll get it back.” Alec coughs, a dry, feeble sound. “Your magic, we’ll—”

“I know,” Magnus lies, shushing him. “Don’t worry about that right now.”

“Magnus…”

“No speaking,” Magnus reminds him sternly. He clears his throat before continuing, forcing a lightness he doesn’t feel. “You’re going to need your strength; Cat hates it when any of us gets hurt and don’t think she’ll go easy on you just because you’re my boyfriend… Come to think of it, that might actually be a disadvantage…”

Alec’s lips twitch weakly, eyes fluttering, and panic rushes through Magnus’s entire system like a demonic poison.

“Hey,” he says urgently, squeezing Alec’s hand, patting his cheek: these tiny, insignificant gestures all he can do now. “Hey, stay with me, Alexander. Stay with me.”

He had given up a literal piece of himself so that Alec wouldn’t have to, and now he might lose him anyway.

He can almost hear his father laughing all the way from Edom.

It’s alarming, how much effort it seems to take for Alec to reopen his eyes.

“Sorry… tired…” he slurs, and Magnus doesn’t bother holding back the tears anymore, because Alec is hurting, could be _dying_ and there is absolutely _nothing_ he can do, he is completely _useless_.

_Where the hell is Cat?_

“I know, darling, I know. But I need you to keep fighting, just a little longer. Can you do that for me?”

Alec looks at him through slits of hazel, eyes wistful.

“Always knew… would end like this,” he points out, and Magnus wants to _scream_ , because yes, he had always known he was going to lose Alec eventually, it was inevitable—but it wasn’t supposed to happen _now_ , not like this: not when he himself has just been stripped of his _immortality_.

He leans down and presses a hard kiss to Alec’s forehead. The skin is cold and clammy against his lips.

“You are going to be _fine_ ,” he says, and he wishes it would sound more like conviction and less like desperation. “Do you hear me? You are going to be fine; Cat is coming and when she does we’re going home and she’ll heal you, and tomorrow you’re taking the day off and we’re staying in bed until embarrassingly late and then maybe you can make that delicious French toast again, how does that sound, hm?”

Alec is looking at him with the same sleepy expression that he always wears when he wakes in the morning and finds Magnus watching him from across the vast expanse of golden sheets, heart in his eyes and bleeding love, as if his entire world is encompassed by what is currently in his field of vision.

“I love you.” 

More tears leak from Magnus’s eyes.

“I know,” he whispers. “I know, I love you, too.”

“’S okay,” Alec mumbles, eyes closing. His chest stutters under their joined hands. “Had worse. Be okay…”

“Please,” Magnus breathes, voice breaking. He desperately reaches for his magic, for any small ounce of it that might’ve been left behind, but there is nothing. “Alexander, open your eyes, _please_.”

Behind them, a portal cleaves the air in two.

**Author's Note:**

> Too traumatized to give a more satisfying resolution, sorry


End file.
